Unleash Your Power
❤️In 2015, that girl on the left (the person I don’t actually know or understand), the one who pretended to be okay, wasn’t.
- She was the life and soul of the party.
- Used and abused and laughed at for being silly.
- The one who did things to please others.
- The one people took advantage of, and gained from her weakness.
- The one who wasn’t strong enough to deal with what was happening around her.
- The one who lied to people and said, ‘I am ok, don’t worry about me.’
- The one who lost all integrity and respect.
- The one who lost everything – but gained everything…
You know why?
The one on the left grew strong, grew wide, learnt all about her mental health and situation and learnt about dealing with cruel people.
She was the one that turned her life around to suit her, to be successful, to be kind to all even if they harmed or laughed at me once.
The one found peace.
The one that took back her control.
Let me tell you something about me
Yes, I found love and, yes, I found strength and happiness. But it didn’t just come. There have been days of tears and not being able to breathe, as I believed everyone was mean and untruthful.
- I was too scared to go out and be free from worry.
- Over-doing it at the gym as I needed to be strong to get well… being hungry and working out daily, not having enough money to get by really.
- Always having to borrow. Or take on extra hours.
- Drinking and hiding my fears – not facing the truth that I needed to fix my life for good, to stop those patterns of behaviour.
They are days you don’t see.
- The times I couldn’t go on holidays without fear of looking ugly and worrying about other women in bikinis due to the trauma of what happened.
- Not being able to enjoy myself. Dreading my holidays.
- 🐒The fear of being asked to a party and having fun, as I was worried about leaving the house…
- 💫Letting people down, as I was crippled with insecurities.
- Not meeting family as I don’t like being away from home too long.
- 💕Worrying about if people liked me, as I changed my mind so much.
- Not being able to look people in the eye as I thought they were staring at my nose or that there was something wrong with my face.
Those days, you don’t see… It’s like seeing a dancer winning her competition. She had to go through the endless pain of practice to be the magnificent dancer she is. No one sees the practising and hard work.
Going through a terrible journey is horrific – but to lead a normal-(ish), powerful life, you MUST take control of it.
You must educate yourself.
You must understand why things happened and you must let go… you must learn to cope with your triggers… I still have them, but I am expectant of them, and I am supported by a man who isn’t cruel. You have to find that partner who understands anxiety. Don’t settle for anything less, just because you want to be loved. You know what I am talking about here. Don’t do it.
I love myself. That’s the first lesson to learn – that’s your power.
I hope this helps one person.
Do not be afraid to reach out to someone. Do not live in your nightmares. Find a way to get help and be helped.
You are not alone: the girl on the left of the picture thought she was. However, she wasn’t, and she asked for help.
You can to.
Message me if you need help with body confidence or trauma. Anxiety is real… don’t ignore the signs.
Be amazing today and start to ignite your power ❤️